Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Planned Parenthood superhero terminates Christian protesters

Quick... set your phasers to "rubber".

WorldNetDaily reports how Planned Parenthood's San Francisco chapter has produced a colorful new cartoon video for teens that, incidentally, reveals their true colors.

The eight-minute "A Superhero for Choice," posted on the Planned Parenthood Golden Gate website, has a bespectacled black woman in San Francisco morphing into a red-suited flying enforcer, bent on making the world safe for the organization's values.

Viewers see three teenagers talking with an ugly green-faced man sporting a top hat and bow tie who tries to tell the kids abstinence is the only sure way to protect against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. The teen girl rebuts the man, naming several birth-control methods.

Retorts the little green man: "Those are instruments from the devil's toolbox!"

The superhero arrives in time to fill a trash can with water and dump the pro-abstinence character into it, slamming the cover down. After the man's muffled voice eventually dies off, the superhero tosses the teens a "safe sex kit," reminding the kids: "Safe is sexy!"

Yes kiddies, if those evil Fascist Fundies start assaulting you with all that responsibility stuff, you can always just drown them in a trashcan. Congratulations PP, you have managed to go below the zero level of low. Down under the soil with all the worm slime and other icky stuff.

But wait... the adventures continue:

The "Superhero for Choice," dubbed Dianisis, next confronts a group of protesters in front of a Planned Parenthood facility. They, too, are ugly and have green faces, carrying signs that say, "Pray for thy sins."

The superhero character uses a "condom gun" that catches each protester in a prophylactic bubble, which subsequently explodes. Though she admits the protesters have a First Amendment right to picket, she glories in the fact that people can now visit the Planned Parenthood facility unimpeded.

The flying superhero then travels to Washington, D.C., where she puts a giant condom on the Washington Monument and confronts a Southern senator who is stricken with "misinformed conservatism."

I guess they should know misinformation when they see it. And of course the Senator always has to be Southern.

The woman's final stop is a village in Africa, where she talks to a doctor working to stem HIV/AIDS and to make sure "every child is a wanted child." The superhero remarks before leaving: "I have an appointment with the Rev. Jerry Falwell – that schmuck."

Take heart, Teletubbies, your avenger is here.

Thus, in the time it takes to say "Bugs Bunny", Planned Parenthood has managed to lay bare all of the venom, prejudice, political bias, hatred for Christians and violent thoughts that they have have been simmering in their little liberal hearts for decades. Our "hero's" message is clear -- embrace safe-sex and abortion or be blown to smithereens.

Some choice.

Evil green Christians are zapped by the condom gun

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