Thursday, August 18, 2005

Home on the deranged...

Air America's Randi Rhodes recently asked Barry Crimmins to be her official "kook in the field" at the Cindy Sheehan protest. Here are some excerpts from his breathless narrative:

There’s mercy in the August breeze in Crawford. It brings relief from the ever-present malevolent heat and humidity at Camp Casey, the makeshift settlement named in honor of Cindy Sheehan’s son, whose life is among the thousands that have been wasted in George W. Bush’s politically pornographic Iraq war/occupation.

Yes, there is indeed a lot of hot air out there. As the account goes on, we learn that the site for the ongoing vigil has turned into a veritable Moonbat Mecca:

Thanks to Mrs. Sheehan, some exceedingly friendly enzymes have been introduced into the Belly of the Beast. When you arrive in Crawford, right before the main railroad crossing where the gate comes down several times a day to allow the speedy passage of freight trains hauling bales of war cash to Houston, you cannot miss the Crawford Peace House. The CPH, opened by Texas peace activists on Easter Sunday 2003, is the nerve center of the staging operation for Camp Casey, which is seven miles farther into the rolling hills. At these two locations, the aforementioned Gold Star families and other organizations, such as Veterans for Peace, Iraqi Veterans Against the War, and Military Families Speak Out, coalesce with hundreds of people from across Texas and every state in the union, as well as from Japan, Australia, Iraq, and several European nations. Collectively, they are taking what is becoming the most fabled stand in these parts since the Alamo.

So much for the lone voice crying out in the wilderness. Crimmins goes on to brag about the sheer number of kooks that have fluttered to Crawford like moths to a lava lamp:

If Fox News had had a turnout as large and thoughtful as this one a few months back in Florida, the Terri Schiavo protest would have looked like Woodstock. The corporate media have minimized Cindy’s large crowds while somehow implying that Bush’s supporters are nearly as prevalent. The fact is that pro-war types have been consistently outnumbered by at least 10 to one[...]

That's because most of us pro-war types have JOBS.

Besides, why stand in the sweltering Texas heat when we can laugh at you leftist dingbats while watching Foxnews in the comfort of our air-conditioned homes?

[...]Maybe these people will think twice the next time they hear the inane and scurrilous charges the Bush attack machine levels at Sheehan with the same unconscionable malice it’s employed against everyone from the Dixie Chicks to Ambassador Joe Wilson. As ever, the target of its venom is guilty of nothing more than standing for truth. But with the machine’s most rabid attack dog, Karl Rove, busy fighting off Traitorgate[...]

Wow, I'm impressed that you found a way to work Karl Rove into this story. You even threw in the Dixie Chicks and Terry Schiavo for good measure. I know that wasn't easy. However...no mention of Dick Cheney or Halliburton? An "A" for effort but a little more attention to detail would have really rounded this piece out.