Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Bill Clinton's alternate universe

Well it looks as if Bill Clinton is serving a third term -- in pure hindsight.

Ex-president Bill Clinton now says he would have taken out Osama bin Laden before the 9/11 attacks – if only the FBI and CIA had been able to prove the al-Qaida mastermind was behind the attack on the U.S.S. Cole.

"I desperately wish that I had been president when the FBI and CIA finally confirmed, officially, that bin Laden was responsible for the attack on the U.S.S. Cole," Clinton tells New York magazine this week. "Then we could have launched an attack on Afghanistan early."

"I don’t know if it would have prevented 9/11," he added. "But it certainly would have complicated it.”

But you did know that bin Laden was responsible for the first WTC bombing back in `93 and if I remember right you chose to sit on your hands. Oops...

So why make such absurd claims? Because for Bill Clinton, saying it is as good as doing it. He wants us to praise this "coulda shoulda woulda" brand of leadership as if it were the real thing.

But let's just play out this little fantasy of his for a moment -- let's assume that the CIA had presented a video to then President Clinton showing bin Laden with that pleasant little smile of his clutching a walkie-talkie and giving the official orders to attack the Cole. What would Clinton have actually done?

Answer: he would have implimented the tried and true Bubba Battle Plan -- lob a bunch of cruise missiles in bin Laden's general direction and when you run out of missiles, declare victory and take credit for ending terrorism as we know it. See? Easy as mommas apple fritters!

Now let's read on as Clinton lets us know how much more attuned he was to the al-Qaeda threat than our current President.

Despite his failure to launch such an attack, Clinton said he saw the danger posed by bin Laden much more clearly than did President Bush.

"I always thought that bin Laden was a bigger threat than the Bush administration did," he told New York magazine.

This is Barney Fife as an ex-President. I can almost see him snorting proudly as he says this. This guy is great entertainment. Keep it up Bubba and we look forward to your next installment from the sidelines.